It was time to put my thoughts to writing. Not my rational, sincere, honest thoughts. Rather the thoughts of my mind gone mad. The emotions of a heart spiraling out of control. The reflections of a brain that at this particular moment was losing the tug-of-war.
Yes, it was time to let my wife know that I had finally figured it out. That the moment had come…
I drafted the following email at the hotel room before checking out. I went back home for three purposes: 1) Gather my Kindle, Chromebook to assist in tying up some loose ends before killing myself, as well as a few clothing items for the journey, 2) Leave an important, handwritten declaration to assist my wife in future legal matters, and 3) Look around one last time at what was my life…and give it a proper goodbye.
Then, sitting in the driveway with my truck idling, accessing our wi-fi network (already considering ways to avoid being tracked), I sent the following communication –